Poster Boy
by MiladyFrenchLily
Summary: What if Severus could see Harry, Draco &tc through a poster hanging on the wall...
1. Default Chapter

A/N: It's a weeeeird idea, but I'll try to explain. Imagine you had some posters of, say, Severus. What if he could see you through that poster? R&R people! (Please? Pretty please?)  
  
Disclaimer: I dearly wish Severus, Harry, Draco &tc &tc were mine. But no. Alas.  
  
~~  
  
Chapter One Harry's room.  
  
Oh Merlin.  
  
This can't be true.  
  
Not Potter's room! Why? WHY?! What have I done to deserve this?  
  
Yes, I know what I have done. Please don't recall it.  
  
It was childish to give Malfoy that potion so he could poison Potter. All right. And yes, if you really want to know the truth, I loathe myself for it.  
  
But STILL! Why on bloody Middle-Earth did Minerva have to send me *here* with that sodding spell of hers?  
  
. . .  
  
Did I just think Middle-Earth?  
  
I should quit reading Lord of the Rings.  
  
And why does Potter have me in his dorm, anyway? I feel very offended.  
  
And embarassed, if you care to know.  
  
The poster I'm in. . .  
  
I don't take pleasure in being shown cursed by Potter senior. And especially not by a curse that makes one's hair green.  
  
Except that . . . dreadful poster, this isn't even such a punishment.  
  
It's just boring.  
  
Potter does nothing but stare at his Transfiguration homework for the last twenty minutes. He doesn't have to make clear to me that 'empty' is written on his cranium - I've been trying to tell him that for the last five years.  
  
Ah, finally! He moves!  
  
Oh no. He cannot - he isn't -  
  
He is. Undressing himself.  
  
Oh well. Who gives a damn anyway.  
  
White knickers? Huge white knickers? He has even less taste than I had expected.  
  
And he should put on his glasses when he grabs his socks. One being red with gold stars and the other green with silver moons - the only thing missing is MADE BY DOBBY in scarlet capitals.  
  
Potter, I know miss Dominant Know-it-all makes you love the little brats to death, and however you would please me by following that advise literally, but ask Dobby next time to knit socks of the same colour.  
  
Or just strangle him. Wait a minute.  
  
Green with silver moons?  
  
SLYTHERIN colours?!  
  
ON POTTER?!  
  
I don't think Dobby's serving breakfast tomorrow. 


	2. Draco's Dorm

Disclaimer: The sentence "you need to find yourself a girl, mate" isn't mine. It's Jack Sparrow's ^_^.  
  
~~  
  
Chapter Two Draco's room  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
Bloody Minerva.  
  
It wasn't my fault Draco saved some of that potion.  
  
But miss Ice Queen clearly doesn't trust me. She never did.  
  
Though, she must have been tired. Why did she sent me to a poster in the Slytherin dorm?  
  
Maybe because this poster isn't too. . .flattering either. I hate pictures of my smiling.  
  
And I'm smiling at Draco Toady Malfoy, for Merlin's sake!  
  
He is disgusting. His tongue is so far stuck in my arse I can't even see where I end and he begins anymore.  
  
And no, that's not a very nice feeling.  
  
If I would've wanted to be worshipped, I would've took part in that Muggle show, Idols.  
  
Speaking of the devil. . . In comes Malfoy.  
  
. . .  
  
Well, at least he's quicker than Potter.  
  
Maybe too quick.  
  
BLOODY MERLIN MY EARS! MALFOY, TURN THAT MUSIC OFF! MY EARDRUMS AREN'T INSURED, YOU MORON!  
  
Damnit. . . I forgot he can't hear me. . .And that music!  
  
No. I don't want to see this.  
  
Malfoy doing a striptease on horrible music?  
  
Mental note: Fail him for the next twenty years.  
  
You need to find yourself a girl, mate.  
  
He clearly has a problem with his sexuality. And he can't dance.  
  
I mean, if you do a striptease, do it well. He still has his pants and shoes on.  
  
I shouldn't have said that. I'm more hetero than Prince bloody Charles!  
  
Malfoy, put your pants on again! A leather thong?!  
  
A leather thong with a snake.  
  
Excuse me while I go and make myself puke.  
  
And there was me with all my naivity, thinking Malfoy was more refined than Potter.  
  
Ha. How cruel life can be. At least his thong is black. That's positive.  
  
I guess.  
  
Maybe not.  
  
Next time, if you feel like performing some mating dance, please go to the Room of Requirement, Malfoy.  
  
You will find all your. . .requisites there.  
  
The boy is in some good shape, all right. He's dancing for about twenty minutes now.  
  
I don't want to think about how long he's been practising.  
  
Something else. . .  
  
I truly hope the slimeball keeps his thong on when he sleeps.  
  
. . .  
  
I even feel sorry for Pansy Park. Unbelievable. 


End file.
